


Honey, (Don’t Feed It) It Will Come Back

by KuuKuuBop



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Body Worship, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 10:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuuKuuBop/pseuds/KuuKuuBop
Summary: There are anomalies in our reality where random people can be haunted by physical manifestations of their biggest fears as imperfect clones of their real selves. These clones are modern day Bogeymen also scientifically known as the X-Clønes. Citizens are advised to be wary of unfamiliar X-Clønes as some may display aggressive behavior. But Kyungsoo manages to befriend a stranger’s Bogeyman anyway, not knowing what kind of fear it represents and whose.[ For "Body Worship" in Top!soo Fest Round 3 ]
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 9
Kudos: 113
Collections: top!soo fest: round 3 (2019-2020)





	Honey, (Don’t Feed It) It Will Come Back

**Author's Note:**

> On today’s episode of Fic Titles Grabbed From Song Lyrics, I’d like to take a moment to thank our lordt and savior Hozier for being a poetic siren king and helping me pick myself up from every slump *fist pump emoji*
> 
> ANYWAY™ this was supposed to be a thousand word pwp but the plot bunnies held me hostage and ChanSoo vehemently refused to fuck without at least a hint of romance first, so this is the story where I died multiple times having to ask the endlessly compassionate Top!Soo Mods for an extension after extension after extension. They’re truly angels who deserve all the love you can give them, so please don’t forget to let them know how grateful we all are to them for serving us the Top!Soo fix that we’ve all been craving for. @ Mods, I hope the universe generously gives u all the blessings that u deserve uwu uwu I'm rly sorry for causing u so much stress pls don't forget to drink lots more water so you'd feel better soon ówò
> 
> Partially beta'd by actual angels whose names start with A, M, and C. Thank y'all for encouraging me to keep writing despite my incessant griping about not having enough brain matter to give justice to this story. U guys are Real Ones™ and I hope u know that I hold a special place in my heart for all of u.

Kyungsoo is thankful that he lives close to campus everyday when he's off to work, and every night on his way home he wonders if he should move further to discourage himself from working overtime. 

Such is the life of the lonely professor, Do Kyungsoo. 

The last classes on campus ends at 9 but he and his graduating class students often stay until 11 max for thesis consultations, with Kyungsoo combing through every detail in every document of their final project to make sure they all pass their defense with flying colors. The campus security has taken to turning off all the air conditioning units on campus at 9 on the dot to discourage their overstaying. They shut off elevators at 10 max, and by 10:30, the only lights left on campus are from the 10th floor Thesis Consultation Room and the emergency staircase from the 10th floor all the way down to the ground floor fire exit. 

The only reason the campus security personnel has never tried to lock him and his students in is because Kyungsoo always smiles at them with such gratefulness in his eyes that it inspires kindness in anyone who sees it. It's practically a superpower. That and also the occasional food he shares with some of the guards on duty when he tends to overestimate how much he cooked either for breakfast or dinner the night before. 

(Pro tip for the security personnel: the blessed spots and timeslots to get to try Prof. Do's dishes are a.) at the main entrance between 6-6:30am, b.) 12th floor cafeteria for lunch at any time between 10am-2pm, c.) and the ground floor fire exit at any time he decides to clock off after 9pm classes (not for the food specifically, though he does share some tasty pre-midnight snacks with the few remaining guards on duty sometimes, but for the sweet smile that has the whole security team whipped.)) 

It's a 15 minute leisurely walk between Kyungsoo's home and the campus every morning. 9 minutes at night when he brisk walks, as is often the case when it's closer to midnight. Not that he's trying to avoid lots of strange Bogeymen on his way home, but that he's trying to catch a particular one that isn't his. Kyungsoo swears to himself that it isn't as deranged as it sounds. 

He tries not to feel too disappointed when he gets home and there isn't a certain pink haired giant Bogeyman waiting for him on his front step. It's most definitely not his personal Bogeyman and he has no idea who its Provenance is and what kind of fear it's supposed to embody, but in times when Kyungsoo feels open enough to embrace the all consuming loneliness that weighs in his heart, he thinks this complete stranger's Bogeyman may just be the only friend he's able to make without being haunted by his own X-Cløne. 

Kyungsoo decides to make himself some tea at a little past midnight, uncomfortably evaded by lethargy at the absence of his usual company. He loads a random Planet Earth Documentary on Netflix, hoping to be lulled to sleep by sir David Attenborough's narration as he waits for his tea to steep when he hears light knocking on his door. It sounded unsure if it really wanted to be heard from the inside, but Kyungsoo walks to the door, hopeful. When he opens it to reveal the person outside, the tension on his shoulders seeps away in relief. 

"Hey Trouble," Kyungsoo greets, stepping out of the way to let his friend in. But the Bogeyman who is incapable of speech more complicated than grunts and (on some blessed occasions) gleeful laughter envelopes him in an embrace before stepping in. 

Kyungsoo notices the cuts on Trouble's handsome face after he's done locking the door, reaching up to cup the Bogeyman's chin to examine the wounds on his eyebrow, nose and cheek. It's not often that Trouble tries to avoid his eyes but he does so now. Kyungsoo didn't call him Trouble for nothing and he knows it. His blue eyes—one so light it's almost white as snow—once unnerving but now just windows to the struggles its Provenance has from within. Kyungsoo swipes his thumb over Trouble's lip, noticing the smidge of blood on the chapped surface. "You haven't been much of a menace, have you?“ Kyungsoo asks, not dwelling too hard on how Trouble tried to follow the warmth of his hand when he took it off the Bogeyman's chin. 

Trouble vehemently shakes his head no with wide eyes at the question, desperate for Kyungsoo's approval. If any of Trouble's behavior were anything to go by, Kyungsoo and the Bogeyman's provenance prove to have so much more in common deep down than Kyungsoo initially thought. It isn't for the first time that he wonders how it would go if he were to meet the person whose biggest fears feel at peace with him. 

"So this is just with your Provenance then," Kyungsoo says as he taps the tip of Trouble's nose, indicating the cuts and bruises on the Bogeyman's face. "Did you have to fight him to be here again?“

Trouble makes a petulant face before walking away to throw his entire weight on the couch, not at all shy about making his grumpiness known. Kyungsoo is reminded of the oversteeped tea on his coffee table and offers it to Trouble before going back to the kitchen to make himself a fresh cup. It's not like Trouble would care about the bitter taste anyway. 

Kyungsoo returns to sit with Trouble a few minutes later, the smell of warm kimchi spaghetti wafting from the plate he's holding, reheated from yesterday's leftovers. "I didn't think you'd come home tonight," he says as he slides the plate in front of Trouble who's pretending to ignore him, so he pretends to ignore the bogeyman sulking too. 

In truth, Kyungsoo has faith that Trouble can't hurt a fly despite his intimidating size. For one, Kyungsoo is quite sure that Trouble is basically just concentrated affection on two very long bowlegs. And more importantly, he has seen the Bogeyman cower at the sight of a tiny and obviously harmless ladybug.

When the documentary ends and Trouble still hasn't touched any of his food—stubborn as stubborn gets—Kyungsoo decides to finally turn in for the night with heavy lidded eyes, leaving the Bogeyman to stew for however long he wants, though not without reminding him to clean himself up if he wants to sleep on Kyungsoo's bed.

It's hours later when Kyungsoo is half-woken by the bed dipping on the other side. He turns, still sleepy, to see Trouble on his side, decidedly keeping his hands to himself as he watches Kyungsoo sleep.

Kyungsoo reaches out to take Trouble's hand in his. "Come closer," he murmurs, voice still rough with sleep.

Trouble obeys without question, all damages forgotten in exchange for much wanted affection. 

3 months ago it would've freaked Kyungsoo out— meeting the Bogeyman's mismatched eyes so close he could almost taste his breath, much more than sharing the same bed with him every night. 

"Sleep now," Kyungsoo yawns, not wanting to dwell on that thought. Trouble cuddles him closer as Kyungsoo's heavy eyes pull him back to sleep. 

It scares him how comfortable he is in this instance. It's been so long since he felt safe to bask in someone else's company. He prays with all his heart that everything he's left behind in the past remains as nothing more than history. 

— ★★★ —

Kyungsoo was finishing his senior year in college when the first handful of X-Cløne cases broke out. Most of which were violent, and with each report, it became a staple in the news cycle; some more lethal than others.

It happened at random. There was a time when it was believed that only those with troubled pasts and deep seated traumas can be affected, but it was quickly disproven once the government funded the study to understand how X-Clønes come to be and how they can be stopped from attacking innocent citizens within its vicinity. The study finds that the X-Clønes are simply the personification of an individual’s Id as a whole. 

It’s not just fear. When repressed, the Id manifests as X-Clønes representing the entire subconscious of their Providence, with no Ego and Superego to filter their primal desires. 

At the height of the X-Cløne scares, Kyungsoo’s mother begged him everyday to come back home. He is her baby, she just wants to keep him safe. But Kyungsoo is a man of pride, and more than that, his quiet nature has allowed his secrets to be kept so deep in the recesses of his heart until they festered and there’s no foreseeable way to come clean about them without risking everything he’s worked hard and cares for.

He could’ve kept all his secrets to his grave too, if he’d been allowed to remain as an anonymous loner in the city he moved to. But his mother hadn’t been getting any younger, couldn’t carry on living by her lonesome. She needed him. And quite frankly, in honest moments, he needed her too for comfort, even though it means he’d have to bring home all his baggage and lay it all out for her to see.

The Kyungsoo she knew before he moved out for college is a goofy kid who was incredibly smart but more incredibly lazy. He was kind though, also incredibly so. And his mother would never fail to assure him that he would never find trouble finding a girl to marry, because he grew up to be polite and courteous man. 

To be fair, he is still all of those things at present. But he also had a lot to repress just to please his mother who he truly loves though he also sometimes resents. He always thought he had to behave a certain way to earn her love. 

It never occurred to him how a mother's love can possibly be unconditional, when all they do is give and there is nothing much for them to take in return. Kyungsoo had to be something his mother can be proud of. Sacrificing everything that he truly is just so he can offer her something, anything at all. 

When he came back home after finishing his degree, his mother welcomed him with the warmest embrace. 

When she saw his companion, Kyungsoo caught the fear in her eyes and he'd also been afraid. The tips of his fingers felt both numb and cold, and the only thing keeping him upright is the shock that had him frozen in place, not knowing what to do next when all the possible outcomes he could think of end up causing him so much pain and damage to their relationship. 

When all Kyungsoo needed was acceptance, his mother made it clear to him that she never really knew him. The only Kyungsoo she can love and accept was the child she raised, she doesn't know the man he grew up to be, and she'll never understand him, not when she isn't willing to know him better, not when he isn't up to standard with her ideals. 

Kyungsoo comes into their house pretending everything will be the same as it was before he left. He was her baby. Her priority was to keep him safe. 

But how? When she holds so much prejudice in her heart. When he brought the one thing she'd been so afraid to cause him harm. 

Kyungsoo called his bogeyman D.Ø. to remind himself that he's a Do, that he'll be a Do through and through, whether or not his mother can accept the person that he is. 

The familiar waft of faint ozone underneath the smell of burnt cedar snaps Kyungsoo out of his trance. He hears Trouble's questioning hum and relaxes his balled up fists at the feeling of the Bogeyman's gentle touch drying the tears staining Kyungsoo's face. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed being treated with such tenderness that he can’t help but press his face and sob into Trouble’s chest. The Bogeyman holds him close, fingers carding through Kyungsoo’s hair for comfort while humming a tune that Kyungsoo doesn’t know the title of.

Once Kyungsoo is done crying, he wipes his face with his forearms and tries to play it off like he never cried though his eyes are puffy and his nose so red he could put Rudolph to shame. “Sorry,” he sniffles, “what would you like to eat for breakfast?” The sun hasn't even risen yet. 

Trouble gives him an unimpressed look before rolling his eyes, shifting to cup Kyungsoo’s cheeks in his hands and kissing his forehead.

The pulse booming at the tips of Kyungsoo's burning ears sounds deafening. “I’m fine,” he insists, looking a little dazed. “I’d be even better once I’ve had breakfast. Please. I just want to go back to normal.”

Trouble swipes his thumb across Kyungsoo’s cheek and nods, letting Kyungsoo escape the emotional moment. But if Kyungsoo knows any better, he should expect the Bogeyman to hound him for answers in his weird, stubborn way. If it were anything else, Kyungsoo might find it endearing for Trouble to care so much about him, but this is one of the things he’d rather keep buried and forgotten forever in the sense that some elephants in the room are better left ignored for good.

— ★★★ —

Kyungsoo goes on a quick grocery run and leaves Trouble alone in his house. (Thank god for 24 hour grocery stores with self-checkout.) He’d been too busy working on all the last minute consultations the past week that the dwindling supplies in his pantry completely slipped his mind. 

Going to work the past few days felt to him like joining into the fray of an active warzone, but he’s relieved that thesis defense week is upon them and all the chaos would be over soon. He just hopes that all his students would do well in their defense so everyone can fully enjoy their term break.

The professor had been so immersed in trying to return to his normal state of mind that he’d only belatedly realized that he went out for groceries in only his shorts and a sleep crumpled shirt, far too casual from his usual tweed jacket that he wears to work or the all-black sweater sweatpants combo he usually goes for when he actually needs to go out on his days off. Feeling far too naked showing as much skin as he does now, he tries to make it through the groceries he needs quick.

An interestingly impossible feat for someone in a near panicked state.

“Ow! Shit! Fuck! My toes!” 

"Um. No, thank you," Kyungsoo replies absentmindedly, wondering if it’s always been this cold in the produce section, he feels like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin shaking.

"Hey! What the fuck, man? N—! No, thank you?! What??“ Mr. Fuck-My-Toes says, voice between amused and still pretty fucking upset. Kyungsoo finally turns from the yogurt selection to look at him and visibly pales, knees feeling like soggy noodles. 

"Holy shit," Kyungsoo breathes, wobbles a little on his feet. It's a good thing he has his shopping cart to hold on to. He feels like his world is turning on its axis and there's really no turning back from here. He's a stubborn guy though. He'll be damned if he doesn't at least try to keep an ounce of self-preservation for himself. 

"Hey, man, you okay?“ Mr. Fuck-My-Toes looks worried, and fuck, Kyungsoo can't stand looking at his face. His round eyes and handsome smile, even the worried furrow of his brows; it all looks too familiar, yet also too strange for comfort.

Kyungsoo looks down to avoid the other man's gaze and finally understands that Mr. Fuck-My-Toes' toe injury was his fault. He jolts back with his cart, bumping into a rack of vegetables and and toppling over a handful of cabbages. 

"The cabbages!" He exclaims, a near perfect imitation of the cabbage vendor in Avatar. 

Mr. Fuck-My-Toes— no, Trouble's Providence laughs. "I understood that reference," he says, a perfect imitation of Steve Rogers. "But, seriously, dude. Are you okay? You look a little woozy." 

When Kyungsoo saw what attachment does to his X-Cløne, he vowed to himself that he'd never let himself get too close with anyone ever again. He can't stand letting his bogeyman wear out the people he loves. Yet here he is, met with a perfect stranger who he may know far too intimately without even knowing his name, and it threatens all the walls he's worked on building around himself to save everyone that matters to him. He can't have anyone that matters to him anymore. So he decides, fuck self-preservation. Damn it all to hell. He's gonna fuck this up before it even begins to be a proper acquaintanceship. 

"I've met your Bogeyman." The worst damage he can admit. Because, self-preservation, still. God. He's the worst. It's embarrassing. 

"What?"

"Your X-Cløne. I know him." More than that, he sleeps in Kyungsoo's bed, and he holds him close in his sleep every night when he's around. But Kyungsoo couldn't admit that. Because, at the back of his mind, knowing Trouble's Providence gives him hope. 

"What?" 

"He's in my house right now." Hope that he might not have to be so alone anymore. 

"Holy shit." 

"Yeah," Kyungsoo says, guarding his expression. He doesn't know what reaction to expect, really. What he wants to get. Rage? Disgust? Pity? He kind of wants anger because at least he'll know how to handle that, growing up the way he did. And he presumes that he could be decked somehow, remembering all the times Trouble went home to him with all sorts of cuts and bruises. At least Kyungsoo knows how to take a hit. 

Mr. Fuck-My-Toes curses under his breath, and Kyungsoo braces himself for a hit that never comes. "Shit. Sorry about him," Fuck-My-Toes says with genuine sincerity, somehow managing to make himself look smaller than he actually is. Kyungsoo feels… safe? Comforted. Fuck. "How long has he been bothering you? Are you okay? God. He hasn't hurt you, has he? That little shit.“ 

Kyungsoo snorts, pausing from putting the cabbages back into their rack. "I call him Trouble." Because that's what he is through and through. A bogeyman who has the power to set things on fire when he gets worked up, who Kyungsoo shouldn't even be friends with, but is the only friend he's allowed himself to keep in the past 2 years since his mother died. And yet he's smiling fondly, remembering all the times Trouble had been such a sweetheart too, thoughtfully sitting through meals he doesn't even need to eat just to make sure Kyungsoo doesn't skip them, and holding him through his breakdowns without making him feel suffocated. 

Trouble is Trouble because no matter what he does he makes Kyungsoo go, this is so fucking wrong before going goddammit. Fuck the consequences, because nothing else feels right as much as Trouble makes him feel.

"He's a menace," Fuck-My-Toes says, "I'm Chanyeol, by the way. I'm really sorry about him. Is there any way I can make it up to you?" 

"I— fuck." Kyungsoo didn't mean to say it aloud. He didn't need to know this man's name. He doesn't want to have a specific person to think about when he wonders about Trouble's Providence. Shit fucking dammit. The frustration just keeps building up inside him. He needs a fucking break before he spontaneously combusts on the spot. 

"H— …fuck? Um, I mean…" Chanyeol checks Kyungsoo out in all his sleep rumpled glory, and Kyungsoo stands feeling naked. For the first time in all the years since D.Ø. came into Kyungsoo's life, Kyungsoo wishes he was here so he can make a crack on the floor for Kyungsoo to slip in and vanish for all eternity. "Okay. You're cute. Not gonna lie, you're kinda my type. So um, yeah, sure, whatever, anything you need. ANYWAY. Did you say, um, Trouble? That's what you call him, right? I never really gave him a name. Unless… I mean, I just call him 'You Little Shit!'. Which is kinda the same thing, don't you think? I think Trouble is nice. The name, I mean. Trouble is a menace and I'm sorry that he's ever bothered you."

"You talk a lot," Kyungsoo says when what he means is that all this while he thought Trouble's Providence was mute, but no, Chanyeol is probably just so afraid to be silenced that his Bogeyman became exactly that. 

"I— yes? I guess? I— you're cute. I'm nervous. Did I mention that you're my type? I'm sorry. Shit. I'm gonna shut up now. Sorry." 

Cute? His type? Chanyeol with the muscle tee and the snapback says to Kyungsoo, and the latter wonders if he actually woke up this morning or if he'd just successfully astral projected to an alternate universe where hot men like Chanyeol are openly attracted to a lame professor like him. (At the back of his head, his inner voice laments how he should've met Chanyeol at the height of D.Ø.'s promiscuity, when Kyungsoo can still consider himself objectively hot and not haggard looking as he is in this moment.) 

"No, wait. Yeah, actually. I do talk a lot," Chanyeol parrots, despite saying he's, quote, _gonna shut up now, unquote._

"No. I meant— just… Trouble doesn't talk?"

"Yeah, I know," Chanyeol agrees because he doesn't need an explanation. Kyungsoo wasn't being rude. He's just… Straightforward. And Chanyeol still thinks he's really cute. And he's also pretty fucking into the guy even though Kyungsoo seems to be a total mess right now, quoting obscure Avatar references with a subtle panicked look in his eyes. Chanyeol just kind of wants to take care of him. _God. Now is not the time to fall in love with a stranger you just met,_ Chanyeol has to remind himself, he isn't Anna of Arendelle. He clears his throat. "Still. I should probably pick him up, though. He can still be very bothersome even if he doesn't talk."

"No need. It's fine. I actually enjoy having him around," Kyungsoo assures, finally deciding which yogurt flavor he'll get and putting it down on his cart. He's pretending to be busy since he couldn't stand the dejected look on Chanyeol's face earlier. 

"Oh." Chanyeol breathes to center himself. He justifies to himself: time is a social construct, and liking someone you just met isn't a crime. He tries to tone down on the dimple game, not wanting to come off too cheeky, but he can't help but smile, feeling giddy. "Well, then. You might actually enjoy having me around, too." 

— ★★★ —

Kyungsoo have long since made peace with Trouble's clinginess, but Chanyeol… well, Chanyeol is a glop that's impossible to shake off. There's no denying that he truly is Trouble's Providence. 

Which is how Kyungsoo finds himself teaching Chanyeol how to cook in his kitchen while Trouble is just looming in the background, pretending he isn't there despite his borderline intrusive presence. 

Kyungsoo has learned that Chanyeol and Trouble cannot coexist without a mediator. (See: Kyungsoo). Leaving the two alone is like setting off an atomic bomb. It's just never a good idea given how combustible Trouble is. Literally. 

(Kyungsoo's bed has a palpable charred smell that clings to his clothes, and he can only guess where Trouble goes to fume whenever Chanyeol comes over to befriend Kyungsoo, charming him into oblivion.) 

"Man, that smells really good. I can devour a whole pan," Chanyeol says as Kyungsoo waits for the onions to caramelize. 

"Yeah, between you and Trouble, I feel like I'm feeding a whole army." Kyungsoo adds the bite sized pork belly back into the pan along with the bowl of cut up kimchi. The smell of it envelopes the kitchen and he feels Trouble peek over his shoulder to inhale the smell of good food while Chanyeol is putting their pasta into a pot of boiling water beside Kyungsoo. 

Trouble hums in approval and kisses Kyungsoo's shoulder before moving back to give him some space to cook. To his right, Kyungsoo hears a faint annoyed groan from Chanyeol. He side eyes the man and imitates the sound Chanyeol just made. 

"Ya!“ Chanyeol warns even though it makes him laugh whenever Kyungsoo teases him. 

"'Ya!' your face," Kyungsoo says and notices the obscene amount of pasta in Chanyeol's pot. "Ya! You cooked all the pasta?!" 

The empty pasta packet peaking at the top of the trash can is a resounding yes, and Kyungsoo shakes his head while Chanyeol defends that he wasn't lying when he said he can eat the whole pan. 

They end up baking their Kimchi Spaghetti in two batches since they can't fit all of it in one tray. Kyungsoo salivates just looking at the two inches of beautifully melted cheese on top of their kimchi spaghetti, and Chanyeol just straight up devours it without appreciating the presentation, though he does make up for it with copious amounts of compliments to Kyungsoo on how it tastes. 

Chanyeol happily caresses his belly bloated with pasta and he looks like he's one glass of water away from a food coma while Kyungsoo is busy transferring their leftovers in a tupperware. 

"Hey, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol can barely open his eyes but he has a loopy smile on his face that makes Kyungsoo feel light, seeing how satisfied the other man is with his cooking. "Thanks for introducing me to the glory of kimchi spaghetti."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." 

"It's really… The Best best," Chanyeol adds, "I'm not even supposed to eat this much since I've been watching my figure. But man, Best Cheat Day _ever_. No regrets." 

"Let me know when your next cheat day is. I'd like to see what you think about my other recipes," Kyungsoo says, mirroring Chanyeol's smile when the other man promises to look forward to it even though he has to spend all his free time at the gym from now on. 

That's just about all the validation Kyungsoo needs. When he looks over to see what Trouble thinks, he finds the Bogeyman gone from his seat. He wasn't in the couch, and neither in Kyungsoo's room. He was just gone. Kyungsoo didn't even see him leave. 

Chanyeol assures Kyungsoo that Trouble would be back. He hasn't been gone for long since he manifested, but Kyungsoo can't help but worry. 

— ★★★ —

It's only been 3 days into finals week but it feels like forever has already passed for Kyungsoo. He shouldn't have to deal with thesis consultations in the middle of defense week. It eats away at the time when he should be grading final papers and projects in between panelling for defense. Except that he doesn't really have the heart to turn students away when they're just trying to pass their subjects, especially thesis. 

Kyungsoo may have had to act aloof and cold-hearted to protect himself, but deep inside, he still knows how to care. But caring about every one of his students is _exhausting_. Mr. Song from the security team finds Kyungsoo slumped over his desk at the consultation room during lunch, catches him snoring and drooling over his sleeve. He's gently woken up, but his braincells go on overdrive when he realizes that he'd been caught sleeping on the job. 

Kyungsoo offers Mr. Song his packed lunch, assuring him that it isn't a bribe, really. He's just tired of eating kimchi spaghetti for about two weeks now.

Mr. Song just tuts and exchanges Kyungsoo's packed lunch with the box of takeout in his hand. He lets Kyungsoo know that a handsome gentleman had asked him to give this to Kyungsoo, thanks Kyungsoo for sharing his packed lunch, and leaves. Kyungsoo hears him whistle a happy tune that fades as Mr. Song walks further away from the consultation room. It makes Kyungsoo feel warm to make Mr. Song happy with his food. 

The takeout box sits on top of the tall pile of his students' papers, and it has a note that says:

_Discovered a newly opened Mr. Tentacles at the train station. I know you're busy but you deserve a taste of god tier takoyaki. Don't forget to eat lunch! Hope to see u soon! ^^_

__

__

PS eat it while it's hot! It tastes the best when you have to heehee hoohoo ㅋㅋㅋ

_♡ chanyeollie_

There are tears in Kyungsoo's eyes which he can't explain, and he finds it difficult to compose himself when there's another knock on the door and Ten pokes his head through the small opening, peeking inside the room wearing glasses that magnifies his eyes that look sharp in anything but his actual vision. 

"Professor Do?" His student says. 

Kyungsoo dries his teary eyes with his drool-stained sleeve and exhales harshly through his nose that makes his snot drip. He finally gains the common sense to wipe his face with tissue before waving Ten in. God, why is Kyungsoo such a disaster. It's literally just a chicken scratched note. Dammit. Kyungsoo's relieved that it's just him and Ten in the room, otherwise he'd look much more of a weirdo to his colleagues than he already does as a staunch recluse.

"Mr. Leechaiyapornkul," Kyungsoo says, composing himself, "to what do I owe this visit?" 

"I'm done with my defense," Ten says, taking a seat across Kyungsoo's desk. 

"Oh, good. You know your thesis grades don't depend on me, right? Whatever your panel gave you is final." 

Ten rolls his eyes, Kyungsoo is afraid he might see all 3 of his remaining braincells after all the hard work he's put into his thesis. "I know that. And I don't need you to alter my grades. _Please,_ " Ten gathers all three of his grading sheets and hands it all to Kyungsoo. He'd passed his defense with flying colors and Kyungsoo couldn't be anymore proud after all the sleepless nights and the countless consultations that he worked overtime for. "I just passed by to thank you, sir. For patiently helping me throughout my project. And I just wanna give you this as a token of appreciation." 

It's a ticket to a speed-dating event. "What makes you think this is appropriate to give to your hardworking thesis mentor?" 

Ten shrugs, shows his hand to Kyungsoo as he counts the reasons. "You can't alter my grades, whatever the panel gave me is final. Two, you seemed lonely this whole term, I thought it would be nice to give you a chance to make a friend. And three, my boyfriend's step-brother will be there. He's pretty hot, very single, and he's a really nice gentleman, so you might not wanna miss this event, and you should definitely look out for him there. Even though you don't seem to need it now." Ten eyes the Mr. Tentacles takeout box sitting on top of the high pile of papers like it's been crowned king, and raises an eyebrow at Kyungsoo.

"What makes you think I don't need it now?" Kyungsoo asks, an eyebrow raised back at Ten. 

"You seem happier. Like you found someone."

"Personally, I think I seem like a mess right now."

"Well, that too. You need to rest every now and then, professor. But don't deny your happiness. My mama says that feeds into X-Cløne manifestations," Ten says and it sparks a chill down Kyungsoo's spine. "Anyhow, you have free will. You can appreciate my token of appreciation which I worked hard for to afford, or you can just skip the event even though I worked hard to afford the ticket. The choice is yours."

"Business attire looks good on you. The corporate life awaits, and you'd be able to afford more speed-dating tickets for all your professors in no time." 

"Stop. I still have one term."

"Corporate slavery will come sooner than you think." 

"Ugh. But for the record, I'd only buy speed-dating tickets for my favorite professor." Ten smiles sweetly at Kyungsoo. "I really appreciate all the help you've given me, sir. And don't let your takoyaki get cold. It tastes best when you heehee hoohoo." 

Kyungsoo's heart stops. "Did you read the note?" 

"What note?" 

"Heehee hoohoo?" 

Ten laughs and stands to leave. "It's just what my boyfriend's family says when they eat hot food." 

— ★★★ —

Trouble comes back coincidentally when Kyungsoo cancels plans to meet with Chanyeol. He’s planning to visit his mother at the columbarium instead, and he’d rather do it alone anticipating how difficult it would be for him to let go of his unresolved issues with the memory of her in his mind. Kyungsoo hopes to find peace, however that may be, and he thinks he knows now that the biggest threat to his happiness isn’t D.Ø. coming back, but the grievance he has for his deceased mother that he wears like a safety blanket around his heart.

Standing in front of the plaque of his mother’s memory with Trouble by his side grounds Kyungsoo, as Trouble’s presence often does, and as does Chanyeol’s despite Kyungsoo’s reluctance to admit it yet. He feels guilty when he thinks about how his mother must’ve been visited more often by stray pigeons than her own son since she died, and he wonders if his own departure would be much like hers if he continues living his life the way he does.

Kyungsoo silently pays his respects holding on tightly to Trouble’s calloused hand like a lifeline, less afraid of the consequences now that she’s gone, though not meaning disrespect, just acceptance of his ownself. Her disapproval hardly matters now but it still takes all of Kyungsoo’s will to stand up to the mere memory of her hating everything that she saw in D.Ø., everything that Kyungsoo genuinely is inside.

Kyungsoo’s hands shakes despite being secure in Trouble’s hold. “I didn’t come here to spite you, mom. And I know it’s too late to say this now, but you need to know, okay? You need— I need you to hear me say this. Please, mom. I’m sorry.” He breaks, voice cracking, and he has to swallow the lump in his throat before he can continue. “I love you, mom. I always have. Even though I didn’t tell you as often as I should have. I never stopped loving you, despite what you liked to believe.” Kyungsoo stops, closes his eyes, and his voice wavers when he says, “you we’re all I had, ma. I would never turn my back on you.”

“D.Ø.,” Kyungsoo says, breathing troubled now, and Trouble switches the hand holding Kyungsoo’s to rub his back. “D.Ø. wasn’t who you thought he was. He was never violent like the ones in the news. He— he wasn’t a harbinger of chaos. He wasn’t a sign of the end times. This isn’t the fucking _rapture. Jesus_. I’m sorry, mom. I’m so sorry if that’s all you thought of me. Because he was _me_. He was kind, he was smart, he was loving. Everything that D.Ø. is. That was me, mom. That’s how you raised me, and that’s why I refuse to believe now that I’m a bad omen to the people I love. Your death wasn’t my fault. I know this now, because I did my best. I did what I could to help you because _I wanted to_. I wanted to take care of you because I love you. If you— if you— _god,_ if you only trusted me you’d probably still be here by now. You could have met Trouble and Chanyeol, too. And I would’ve been able to prove to you that not all X-Clønes are evil.” Kyungsoo sobs, hot tears pouring down his reddened face. “I only wanted your love, ma. That was— that was all I needed. That was all I worked hard for. I looked for love in other places, but yours was the one that mattered the most to me.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I was never able to make you feel like I deserved it,” Kyungsoo sobs weakly. He has to breathe heavily through his mouth to calm himself, and Trouble swiftly moves to hug him from behind, hand rubbing over Kyungsoo’s chest to soothe his breathing until he’s hiccupping dryly while staring at his mother’s epitaph remembering her as a loving mother. And she was. She hadn’t been perfect but she had her moments that Kyungsoo treasures in his heart. 

“Thank you, mom.” Kyungsoo feels Trouble plant a kiss on top of his head that gives him strength to continue. “I know you always did your best, so thank you. For everything that you’ve done for me. I feel like a coward telling you all this when you can’t acknowledge what I’m saying, but this has been very freeing to me, mom. So thank you again. I promise I will live a full life with no regrets from now on. Please understand that I won’t be meaning any sort of disrespect when I make decisions that I know might disappoint you. I will live my life as my own and I will take responsibility of all my decisions because you raised me to be a respectable man, mom, thank you. I promise to visit more often. I,” Kyungsoo swallows a lump in his throat, “I love you.”

If Kyungsoo had known how cathartic this would be, he would have bled his heart dry sooner. He doesn't know why it had been so difficult for him to come up with all the words he needed to say when it just flowed easily through him now. He wishes he could have said everything while his mom was still around, hoping they could have fixed their relationship while they still had the time, but there's no need dwelling in what could have beens when he did this to move past his hangups. 

Maybe the maturity he needed came to him late, but it's here now and that's all that matters for him to move on to better things. 

Kyungsoo can barely keep himself awake on the way home, feeling drained and exhausted from crying as much as he did. He’s thankful that Trouble is around to take care of him; making sure Kyungsoo drinks water before he sleeps and tucking him in bed. Kyungsoo’s eyelids felt heavy but his heart feels much lighter, and he falls into the most peaceful sleep he’s had in years.

— ★★★ —

Trouble isn’t around anywhere in the house when Kyungsoo wakes up the next day. He opens the curtains to let the sun spill its light into his house, breathing life into the space around him that felt dull since he moved back from college. Kyungsoo was just about to make breakfast when his doorbell rings and he opens the door to Chanyeol smiling brighter than the sun so early in the morning.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks, stepping aside anyway to let Chanyeol in.

Chanyeol shrugs before toeing off his shoes. “Something told me I should be here with breakfast,” he says, raising the bag in his hand to show Kyungsoo the bento he brought with him. 

“Trouble?”

“Hm? Oh, Little Shit?” Chanyeol looked genuinely clueless, but he guesses, “maybe? Like a mind meld. You think?”

Kyungsoo snorts. “Sure, Spock. Maybe something like that. Didn’t he come to you? He’s gone when I woke up this morning.”

The tips of Chanyeol’s ears turn pink and he groans. “Ha ha. Vulcan ears, right. Of course. Why didn’t I see that coming? I literally could’ve just said neural handshake. Also no, he didn’t. I don’t think I’ve seen him at all this week, actually.”

“You don’t have to get yourself worked up. I like your ears. I think they’re cute.”

This time not only Chanyeol’s ears are red but his cheeks too. “Ah, Kyungsoo-yah, why are you doing this to me? My knees are shaking, look.”

Kyungsoo lets out a deep haha with a radiant smile that brings out the plumpness of his cheeks. “What? I’m just being honest.”

“Please tone it down a bit. I’m weak, okay? Just eat your onigiri. I made tuna and chicken. And here, drink your milk.”

It feels weird for Kyungsoo to be doted on since he’s used to doing all the work by himself, but he also finds it nice to have someone he’s comfortable with by his side. Kyungsoo’s had a bit of experience with Trouble popping in every now and then, and Kyungsoo has learned how to adjust to make space for Trouble in his life. It might take a bit more of getting used to after living by himself for quite some time, but Kyungsoo decides, this companionship thing, he likes it. He enjoys having either or both of Trouble and Chanyeol around, and if he wants them to stick around, he’s gonna have to make an effort to give them a reason to stay.

“Kyungsoo-yah,” Chanyeol calls, “how is it?”

Kyungsoo shifts his gaze to Chanyeol and bites into his onigiri very slowly.

“Kyungsoo-yah.”

He chews very slowly.

“You don’t have to chew that much. The meat is already shredded.”

Swallows very slowly.

“Yah! Kyungsoo! You’re killing me.”

Kyungsoo’s laugh almost has him choke on his last bite, and he washes it down with all of his milk in one gulp. The vindicated expression on Chanyeol’s face is masked with concern that almost has Kyungsoo snorting milk out of his nose but he easily collects himself and says, “it needs a bit more salt.”

“Yah,” Chanyeol warns. “You were really savoring it, though.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh. “What I’m trying to say,” he starts, “is… maybe… we should try making some of these together. If you're free next weekend.” If it weren't for the flush at the tips of Kyungsoo's ears, it would've been impossible to know that his heart feels like it's trying to beat out of his chest despite the stoic delivery of his invitation. 

Chanyeol isn’t faring any better, cheeks as bright as a fresh tomato. “Yah, Kyungsoo,” he says, aiming to sound resolute but coming off just a hair's breadth shy of giddy instead, “I told you to stop.”

“No, you said tone it down.”

“You didn’t even tone it down. How am I supposed to walk out of here, I can’t feel my knees anymore,” Chanyeol complains.

"Oh," Kyungsoo says, disappointment evident in his face, "why do you have to go?" 

Chanyeol pauses in shock as if to recalibrate. "I don't want to interfere with your Sunday plans too much. I already came here uninvited,” he says, scratching the back of his head.

The smile returns on Kyungsoo’s face. “I don’t really have a plan. I just need to compute grades and upload it on the server by tonight.”

“I can do math,” Chanyeol offers, mirroring Kyungsoo with a shy smile.

— ★★★ —

The stretch of Trouble’s absence had been gradual. He used to be gone a couple of days but he’d always been there for Kyungsoo for most of the week, especially when either Chanyeol or Kyungsoo are too busy to hang out. But the days stretched into weeks as Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’s friendship grew and their communication flowed seamlessly from talking in person to online messaging and back, until Trouble would only show up to hold Kyungsoo close in his sleep every once in a while when he misses Chanyeol’s presence.

There was a time when Kyungsoo had asked Trouble to stay until the morning, and he did if only for a while, as if he only waited for Chanyeol to ring the doorbell to help Kyungsoo make breakfast. And another when Chanyeol asked him to stay and eat with them. Trouble looked confused because he knew he didn’t have to. They all knew that X-Clønes don’t feed the same way that humans do, but he stayed, and Kyungsoo noticed that he seemed different. 

Trouble had been so tranquil, his presence so light it was almost as if he was only a phantom energy in the room. Like he didn’t have the need to be there at all, but he stayed as much as he could because they wanted him to. He and Chanyeol didn’t even fight at all. It was the most peaceful meal all three of them have had together and Kyungsoo cherishes the memory of it in his heart.

It was rare for Trouble to visit either of them when they’re together, but he pops in once when Chanyeol had been feeling insecure about gaining a bit of fat from eating too much of Kyungsoo’s cooking.

Chanyeol was worried that he’d lose a huge chunk of his subscribers if he doesn’t look hot enough, and Trouble comes to them looking like Chanyeol’s pre-pubescent self; he was a bit tan with round rosy cheeks and a chunky built even though his eyes were the same dichromatic color and the pink markings around his temple was still there like Trouble's age only regressed to manifest the root of Chanyeol's size insecurity. He came around like he’s starving for Kyungsoo’s attention. It was a good thing that Kyungsoo had a lot to give because Chanyeol had been an adorable child and Kyungsoo is used to Trouble clinging to him for affection.

Kyungsoo hadn't realized just how much reflective surfaces his house has until he's seen Chanyeol pause and assess his appearance in every single one of them. Even the back of his stainless spoons wasn't spared. 

Chanyeol whimpers after seeing his face, whines, "should I go on hiatus? I'm gonna need at least a month to recover at this point. Look." He shows Kyungsoo the back of his spoon and all Kyungsoo sees is his own distorted figure on its convex surface. 

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to see here," Kyungsoo says, fingers massaging Trouble's scalp as the little boy becomes a permanent fixture clung to his side. "And stop worrying about how you look. You're making Trouble anxious." 

"Stop babying him. He's not a baby, Kyungsoo." 

Trouble peers up at Kyungsoo with puppy dog eyes before tucking his head under Kyungsoo's chin. "You're both unbelievable," Kyungsoo says, the strands of Trouble's hair tickling his neck. 

Chanyeol watches them with a frown, he looks like he still has a lot to say but he just quietly eats his fried rice while he stews in his thoughts. This is a different side of him that Kyungsoo never saw in Trouble before. Chanyeol looks analytical, serious, when all that Kyungsoo's used to is his lighthearted self, hungry for approval and craving for affection. This is new and Kyungsoo feels like a moth to a flame, fascinated by the brightness, the warmth that could potentially scorch him and the mystery of the unknown. He's helplessly drawn to Chanyeol and he's not going to do anything to resist it. 

Except when he starts to see less of Chanyeol, the other too busy putting extra hours at the gym to even message Kyungsoo sometimes. The seeds of doubt know how to take root best when nurtured with uncertainty afterall. 

— ★★★ —

An idle mind is not an instrument for inner peace. Not for Kyungsoo at least. He finds the school break to be a curse, throwing him out of step despite his plans to take a breather and relax. He'd planned to binge watch on Netflix and experiment on new recipes but he couldn't commit to sitting still enough to finish one whole film when his mind is racing with too many thoughts he couldn't fully grasp, and apart from that, he maintains that food tastes best when shared. 

Within only a couple of days, Kyungsoo has managed to deep clean his entire ancestral home and get started on his mini garden of herbs he could use for cooking. He tries to get back on his Netflix agenda but he couldn't even decide what show to watch anymore, just endlessly looking through the catalogue and piling on to his Watch List that he's not even interested enough to sift through anymore. 

One more day, Kyungsoo tells himself, just one more day and he'll decide if he'd put Ten's gift to good use. At the back of his mind he thinks he doesn't even have to wait that long to find himself a companion. He's had enough experience it shouldn't be a problem, but deep down where it matters, he knows diving back into that kind of life would never give him the satisfaction he's looking for when all he ever needs is time and attention from one specific person. 

Even Trouble has gone AWOL. And Kyungsoo suspects that it's because it's easier for Chanyeol to subdue a Bogeyman the size of his 12-year-old self than when Trouble was his own size. It's subtle, but Chanyeol always seemed embarrassed about the insecurities that manifest in his X-Cløne and Kyungsoo is reminded why ordinary people called them Bogeymen in the first place. They don't necessarily have to be bad and scary to everyone when they only really exist for their Providence. 

Kyungsoo knows it's dangerous territory, and he's afraid that letting his thoughts wander too far into the What Ifs would wake D.Ø. back up, but he's curious to know if there's sense for him to want something out of the easy friendship he's started with Chanyeol. There's hope pulsating in a closed off corner of his chest, and he tries his best to subdue it, fearing it's unwelcome, but it beats stronger in each passing day, curious to undo the doubt taking root in a place where it shouldn't be. Soon something will bloom in its place, and it's up to Kyungsoo to decide what kind of feeling it should be. 

— ★★★ —

Kyungsoo was just about to turn in for the night, a cup of chamomile tea in hand to help him sleep, when there’s a knock on his door. Assuming that it’s just Trouble, he shuffles over to let the bogeyman in. The crisp night air cuts through the opening as Kyungsoo stands dumbfounded in front of Chanyeol himself.

“Hi, Kyungsoo. Sorry to bother you this late without warning,” Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo sees little Trouble peek from behind Chanyeol, clutching at the sides of his sweater. Chanyeol follows Kyungsoo’s gaze and coaxes the bogeyman to his side while Trouble clings to him like a koala. “I think he misses you.”

“Do you?” Kyungsoo asks little Trouble who shyly nods his head yes. He looks at Chanyeol with a small smile and invites Trouble to hug him, careful not to spill his tea on the little bogeyman.

Chanyeol watches them embrace, shivers a little when another breeze blows by, and says. “Me too. Kind of. Sorry for not talking to you much lately. I was being a knucklehead. Sorry I’m a knucklehead.”

“You’re not a knucklehead, Chanyeollie,” Kyungsoo says, smiling kindly at Chanyeol. The tendrils of doubt wound in his chest at an indefinite halt. “Come in.”

Under the orange streetlight, Kyungsoo sees Chanyeol’s eyes shine. “Kyungsoo,” he says, feet planted firmly on the ground almost as if to keep himself steady. Kyungsoo doesn’t dare say anything, just waits for Chanyeol to continue. “Can I have a hug too?”

— ★★★ —

The three of them spend a while watching Zootopia on Netflix. Chanyeol is tearing up while eating Kyungsoo’s leftover teriyaki chicken. Trouble could barely contain his cackling when Flash the sloth finally laughs at Nick’s joke, and Kyungsoo nudges Chanyeol with his feet, mouthing, “you okay?” when he catches the other man wipe the shine out of his eyes. 

Chanyeol considers his answer, but he just gives Kyungsoo a long meaningful look instead of giving a straight yes or no answer. Yes, it’s not a big deal, but no, he sort of craves to be held. He shrugs and turns his attention back to his food, and Trouble makes a show of the fakest theatrical yawn Kyungsoo has ever witnessed in his life. For one, the little guy was just howling in laughter a short while ago. And more importantly, Bogeymen don’t physiologically need to sleep. 

For his part, though, Trouble at least knew how to pretend that his eyes are heavy with lethargy, even though he peeks every now and then to see if Kyungsoo has taken the hint to tuck him in bed.

"Oh so now you're tired," Chanyeol says. The sarcasm in his voice reminds Kyungsoo of his mother on occasions when Kyungsoo's being difficult. It's peculiar, Kyungsoo considers, but also interesting for a Providence to parent his Bogeyman. He's almost eager to co-parent himself. 

"Would you like a bedtime story, my sweet?" Kyungsoo asks, making Trouble giggle and Chanyeol groan at the same time, aware that it was a jibe at him. 

"He's been a constant pain in my ass this past week, and now he wants a break? I need a break," Chanyeol grumbles but follows as Kyungsoo ushers Trouble into his bedroom. "Are you sure you want him to sleep here? I can take him home right now if he's so 'tired'." 

"Let him rest, Chanyeol. He's a child." Kyungsoo can't resist a pinch at Trouble's rosy chubby cheek and lets the boy settle on his side of the bed. He pulls the comforter up until under Trouble's chin and pats his round belly. "Are you good?" 

Trouble nods and directs a meaningful look at Chanyeol before closing his eyes, feigning sleep. Kyungsoo can't help but chuckle. "I don't know what you're feeding this kid, but he's cute," he tells Chanyeol who looks like he's a hair's breadth away from severe aneurysm. 

"Do you really like him around, Kyungsoo? He's not a bother to you?" 

"Why would he be a bother to me?" 

Chanyeol shrugs, shrinks into the couch, facing the tv with unseeing eyes. "Don't you just want to get rid of him? He's needy. Clingy. Incredibly annoying. Like a mosquito repellant, but for my friends specifically."

"Maybe you just needed better friends." 

Chanyeol huffs. "I don't even have friends anymore." Kyungsoo can only imagine how hard that must be for Chanyeol, to not have friends when he thrives when showered with attention.

"Having a legion subscribers who adore you just isn't the same, is it?" Kyungsoo asks, uncomprehending of just how much people are regularly looking forward to Chanyeol's gaming streams. 

"It's just never enough somehow," Chanyeol admits. "I don't want to be loved just because I look good. And I hate how self absorbed I feel sometimes thinking that, but I'm so afraid I'd lose over half of my subs if I gain weight, and that sucks because I love eating good food, and I enjoy eating the food you cook and sharing a meal with you. God, I missed it so much I _cried_ earlier. It'da embarrassing because I know you saw me. But that was really the best chicken teriyaki of my life. Have you ever tasted blended chicken? It's shit. Never do that to yourself. But I guess it helped because I got less comments about my weight gain now. Also, bigger muscles."

"Fucking dumbass."

Chanyeol frowns. "Hey, you said I'm not a knucklehead." 

"Did I say knucklehead?" 

"No, you said 'fucking dumbass'. Fruits of the same tree, and also somehow _worse_ than knucklehead. Why do you hate me?" Chanyeol asks like the utter drama queen he is just to get Kyungsoo's attention.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you're a himbo," Kyungsoo says, because he couldn't believe Chanyeol essentially ghosted him for a week for protein shakes. "You know we could've just portioned your meals, right? What the hell were you thinking _drinking_ chicken? That should be a mortal sin. Illegal and Unforgivable."

Chanyeol somehow looks pleased despite himself. "Himbo is good, right?" 

"You're _Not_ a himbo. It doesn't work if you're a genius. You just had a dumb moment. Happens to the best of us." Kyungsoo picks up Chanyeol's plate off the coffee table and brings it to the kitchen. 

"That is literally the worst rollercoaster ride ever," Chanyeol grumbles, and then lights up. "Yah! Yah! Yah! Kyungsoo-yah!" 

"What?" Kyungsoo says without turning to him. 

"Why do you build me up, Buttercup? Baby, just to let me down," Chanyeol sing-songs—dork that he is—as he's following along with a bounce to his step. "Let me wash that." 

Kyungsoo swears that if the song gets stuck in his head he'll never let Chanyeol see the light of day. It's futile, with Chanyeol getting into the groove of the song as he continues, and Kyungsoo can almost physically feel his brain melt inside his skull. It isn't long 'til he's singing along and it's just an endless loop of the chorus because they don't really know the rest of the lyrics. 

It's nice. Washing dishes. It used to be mind-numbingly mundane, just a regular part of life for Kyungsoo. But he enjoys it somehow, like most other things, better when he does it with Chanyeol. 

— ★★★ —

For someone as attractive as Chanyeol, you would think he wouldn't have to bear insecurities about the way he looks, really. But he's somewhat of an online celebrity with over a million something subscribers, and everyone and their mothers know that the internet is a breeding ground for mean-spirited people. And Chanyeollie with the soft heart and the big brain that has a lot of room for overthinking is only human after all. 

It's a good thing Kyungsoo knows what he's doing. As experienced as he is. He'll make sure Chanyeol has no room for doubt about how loved he is. Kyungsoo is no wordsmith and he isn't sure if he's even brave enough now to actually say it, but at least he's confident enough that he'd be able to get the point across in some way or another. 

In such that when Chanyeol thinks about his yoda ears, he'd remember the warm wetness of Kyungsoo's tongue laving at the back of his earlobe, the way his warm breath was all Chanyeol could hear as Kyungsoo licks and nibbles at the flushed tips of his ears. He had goosebumps hearing himself moan, high-pitched and needy, and Kyungsoo had been pleased to pull the pleasantly surprised sound out of Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol isn't sure if it did him good or worse that it took this long for them to act on the electric chemistry he's always felt sparking between them. But he has no regrets when he'd let Kyungsoo explore and find out all his weaknesses. Sweet spots. Same bananas. 

Kyungsoo's lips mapped out Chanyeol's face first. A single lingering peck on each of Chanyeol's cheeks, his eyes, the tip of his nose, everywhere but Chanyeol's lips, but his breath is stolen away anyway. 

Kyungsoo buries his fingers in Chanyeol's hair, tugs ever so lightly in the other direction before planting his mouth on Chanyeol's neck, licking a strip up to his jaw and going back to suck and lave over his pulse, eliciting helpless noises out of Chanyeol's throat, adam's apple bobbing along to Kyungsoo's ministrations.

Chanyeol's hands wander, hot and electric on the skin under Kyungsoo's shirt, but they aren't enough to distract him from the attention Chanyeol's collarbones deserve. Not until Chanyeol's fingers find Kyungsoo's nipples, sensitive from the chilly air, making him shiver on Chanyeol's lap. 

"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol breathes. 

"Shh." Kyungsoo tugs Chanyeol's hair again that has him gasp again just as the softness of Kyungsoo's lips cover his own. Chanyeol feels dizzy, and for some illogical reason, he doubts himself if he's sure that he isn't really a virgin before this, because he kinda feels like he is and they haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. 

Kyungsoo's kisses are as glorious as Chanyeol had imagined. He isn't afraid to use a bit of teeth, and it isn't anything like Chanyeol has experienced before. In terms of food, it was the spice he didn't think he needed, and soon he feels Kyungsoo's tongue snake into his mouth, wet and cool against his own despite the warm breath they're sharing between them. Chanyeol can physically feel his flush bloom across his chest as he heaves for breath, and he holds Kyungsoo close, tasting his moan on his mouth when Chanyeol tries to nibble back on his lip the way Kyungsoo did to him before. 

"Fuck," Chanyeol says, and it's a good thing that they're already seated because this would be the moment his knees would buckle under his weight if he weren't. 

"We'll get there," Kyungsoo assures as he slowly pulls Chanyeol's shirt off of him, and the other readily submits to his lead. "What are your issues again? Tell me." 

If this is what therapy is like, Chanyeol would have signed himself up sooner. Not to be perverse, but the way Kyungsoo is steadily undoing him is the single most freeing ordeal he's ever experienced in his life yet. 

"I used to have noodle arms." Kyungsoo stops from sucking at Chanyeol's neck to give him a concerned look, trying hard not to laugh. Chanyeol tries not to laugh either, realizing how silly it sounds but he's sure his arms looked even funnier than he remembers and every bit as noodle as it sounds. "No, seriously. It's so unattractive. Like Slenderman." 

"Please don't talk about Slenderman unless you want my cock to wilt."

"Okay, what the fuck. Why was that hot? Say it again." 

Kyungsoo looks bewildered, because he doesn't have half as much brain cells as he likes to pretend. "What? Slenderman?" 

"Fuck, don't ruin the moment," Chanyeol says. He covers Kyungsoo's face with his whole hand and shoves him away, laughing. "No, dumbass." 

"Oh, so you're allowed to pick fruits from the same tree now?" 

Chanyeol wheezes. "Kyungsoo, I swear to god." 

"Absolutely do not do that. That's blasphemous." 

Chanyeol shakes with laughter, and Kyungsoo is vaguely reminded of kiddie rides at the department store where they used to shop growing up, riding it out on Chanyeol's lap. "I hate this," he coughs, "you suck." 

Kyungsoo is unphased. "Sure, later," he says, and Chanyeol chokes on his own spit. "What was it you want me to say? Cock? Please?" 

_"Cock please?"_ Chanyeol repeats, tears in his eyes as he shakes through another bout of guffaws. "My god, Kyungsoo. I'm weak. Just fucking kiss me again." 

Kyungsoo obliges, because he isn't averse to that plan. He kisses Chanyeol's lips raw while he has Chanyeol's hands pinned above his head, and swallows all the gasps and moans Chanyeol breathes into his mouth as he slowly grinds his ass over Chanyeol's crotch. 

Kyungsoo moves on to plant butterfly kisses on the inside of Chanyeol's arm down to his knuckles, eyes locked with Chanyeol's as he plants a firm kiss in the middle of Chanyeol's palm. Kyungsoo closes Chanyeol's hand, pretending it's a souvenir, making Chanyeol giggle. "Kyungsoo, what the fuck," he says, but his chest feels like it grew its own sun with how warm with joy Chanyeol feels.

Kyungsoo lets his hands wander over Chanyeol's torso, tracing a scorching path where it meets Chanyeol's skin, and the other man shivers when Kyungsoo thumbs over his nipples before planting a wet kiss on it. Kyungsoo tongues over the nub and blows over it, making Chanyeol shiver at the sensation of warm breath ghosting at the cold wetness of his sensitive skin, loves it when Chanyeol grasps at his hair and tugs Kyungsoo's head away only to follow the heat of Kyungsoo's mouth soon after. 

Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol push and pull him away from his abused nipples until Chanyeol's sensitive nubs felt overstimulated, and Kyungsoo could feel Chanyeol's thighs tense at the feeling, hands soothing over Chanyeol's sides to help him relax, twitching when he feels ticklish under Kyungsoo's featherlight touch. 

Kyungsoo gets off Chanyeol's lap to kneel between his legs. Chanyeol's navel tenses under Kyungsoo's wet kisses, and he whimpers when Kyungsoo caresses his thighs, leg involuntarily jerking when Kyungsoo scratches his nails over Chanyeol's inner thighs. 

They still have a long way to go, but Kyungsoo is pleased with how Chanyeol is coming undone, cock twitching inside his sweatpants just watching Chanyeol pant after all his careful ministrations. 

"Fuck, how are you so good to me," Chanyeol says in between puffs of breath, adjusting to let Kyungsoo take off his pants while he's busy leaving marks on the jut of Chanyeol's hips. His legs quiver at the fraction of a moment that he shifted his weight on his feet to help Kyungsoo pull his jeans off of him, and god, Chanyeol doesn't think he'll make it through the night. 

Sparks of warmth tingle down Chanyeol's groin as Kyungsoo mouths at his inner thighs, and he wonders if he can hold off a little longer with the way precome is oozing off his reddened slit. Chanyeol's skin feels alight with fire as blood rushes down to his groin, making him lightheaded with pleasure despite the absolute neglect his cock is getting. Kyungsoo holds him steady as his thighs and stomach quake, muscles winding back up just to get undone again. 

Chanyeol lets out a shaky laugh and admits, "I'm nervous. It's– it's been a while."

"It's okay. Nothing has to happen now," Kyungsoo assures, kissing the inner side of Chanyeol's knee, making his cock twitch. 

Chanyeol shivers. "I don't–," he pants, legs jerking in short spasms, "I want something. _Please._ "

"Okay. Okay. I'll take care of you." Kyungsoo soothes, and if it's at all possible, he feels his cock grow harder, having Chanyeol near naked apart from his underwear while Kyungsoo himself is fully clothed. "Relax." He feels Chanyeol's hand ease and fist his hair over and over, and lets the feeling ground him as he mouths over Chanyeol's clothed cock, excitement bubbling up his chest when he feels Chanyeol twitch under the heat of his breath. 

Apart from everything, Kyungsoo wants to ruin Chanyeol from bottoming for anyone else other than Kyungsoo. And he does so with only his skillful tongue and fingers. He thumbs at the pucker of Chanyeol's rim and blows gently, and hears Chanyeol whimper. Kyungsoo shushes him while kneading the meat of his ass before diving in with his mouth, painting a streak of warm wetness over Chanyeol's hole before teasing it with the tip of his tongue. 

Chanyeol squirms at the odd sensation of Kyungsoo's wet velvety tongue licking at his hole, moans when Kyungsoo's fingers dig at the meat of his thigh to keep him steady. At some point he forgets to breathe altogether and feels like he'd implode, heat flaring out of his skin as he quivers from Kyungsoo's skillful mouth and fingers. Chanyeol whimpers like a wounded animal, and Kyungsoo would think Chanyeol hates his ass being ate if only Chanyeol hadn't been actively pressing Kyungsoo's face between his legs, hand buried in his hair. 

Kyungsoo relents from his ministrations on Chanyeol's hole and plants open kisses unto his inner thigh instead. "You okay?" Kyungsoo asks, and Chanyeol doesn't even notice the tears streaking down his face. 

"Yes," Chanyeol hurriedly says, "yes, Kyungsoo, _please._ " He almost screams when Kyungsoo sucks his balls in his mouth, not completely sure what he's asking for anymore as long as there's more, more, more of Kyungsoo's mouth on his body.

Chanyeol doesn't expect to last much longer when having Kyungsoo simply hold the base of his cock has him feeling like he's launched outside the earth to be among the stars. 

"God, I feel like I'm gonna pass out," Chanyeol pants before Kyungsoo rips a sinful moan out of him, unprepared at the pressure of having the leaking crown of his cock sucked into the heat of Kyungsoo's mouth while he's teasing the rim of Chanyeol's hole with his thumb simultaneously. "Kyungsoo, ah, ahh, how are you–,“ he groans, head thrown back as his hands search for purchase. One hand finds Kyungsoo's hair again and Kyungsoo moans with Chanyeol's cock in his mouth, making him jerk his leg and quiver at the sensation.

"How are you doing this to me, oh god," Chanyeol's voice shakes, the edges of his vision starts to get fuzzy as the pleasure builds up at the pit of his stomach. It starts to feel like an out of body experience when Kyungsoo uses a bit of teeth to graze at the underside of his cock. It shouldn't be good, Chanyeol jerks back as his initial reaction, but Kyungsoo had been careful, keeping it to a featherlight touch, and Chanyeol's head spins, unable to pinpoint the difference between pain and pleasure. 

"Fuck, hhhh, Kyungsoo, ah," he whimpers, "I can't, ahh."

Kyungsoo's hand smooths over Chanyeol's flanks and it makes Chanyeol feel like he's floating. His mouth pops off of Chanyeol's cock, keeping a hand at the base of it as he murmurs, "it's okay. It's okay, Chanyeollie. Just let go." 

And god, Chanyeol never thought that the space between his groin and his leg was _that_ sensitive until he has Kyungsoo biting and sucking a mark that would surely bloom later on. Kyungsoo shifts to suck Chanyeol's balls again, gently massaging the sensitive sacs inside his mouth with his tongue, and it should be illegal how good it feels while Kyungsoo is pumping his hand on Chanyeol's cock, and all Chanyeol could register in his head was, _god fucking damn_ , and to think that he almost lost his chance with the guy. 

The orgasm rips through Chanyeol like white flame travelling from his chest down to his gut, and his mind blanks out, completely unable to register the depraved noises it drags out of his mouth with every heave of breath as Chanyeol rides out the best of his release. Kyungsoo gently guides him down to the last of it. He holds Chanyeol steady as he twitches with the impact of his pleasure, and Chanyeol cries at the tenderness, disoriented still. 

Kyungsoo kisses Chanyeol's forehead and brushes his fringes up from his face. "That was beautiful," Kyungsoo murmurs, "you did so well, Chanyeollie. You were so good." And Chanyeol tries to bury his face at the space between Kyungsoo's neck and shoulders, suddenly shy at the compliment. He's starting to gain a sense of clarity, but he still feels kinda raw all over, even inside. 

"I'll get you a glass of water and I'll clean you up after," Kyungsoo says, fingers carding through Chanyeol's hair, "just lie down there comfortably, okay?" 

When he returns, Chanyeol is already half asleep and he could barely finish his glass. Kyungsoo carefully cleans him up with a warm damp towel, and decides to lend him some clothes although he's unsure if any of it could fit Chanyeol. 

Trouble isn't in Kyungsoo's room when he enters. The bed is properly made, and the only trace he left behind was the faint smell of burnt cedar. Kyungsoo brushes it off knowing that Trouble always leaves him in the morning, just when the moon is about to fall asleep, and it's way past midnight now. The sun should be slowly climbing up in a while. 

Kyungsoo finds a loose pair of boxer shorts at the bottom of his drawer and hopes it would fit Chanyeol since nothing else really would.

It's a herculean task in itself to help Chanyeol walk to his bed on jelly legs, and Chanyeol insists to return the favor once Kyungsoo has settled on his side, but Kyungsoo shakes his head and just snuggles into Chanyeol's warmth. 

— ★★★ —

Chanyeol visits Kyungsoo with a fresh haul from the local market, beaming when he says he got tiny baby octopuses they can make riceballs with. Kyungsoo mused that if they had a takoyaki pan, they could have made some too, and Chanyeol promises he'd buy one so they could make unlimited takoyaki whenever they want. Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol that they could just eat at Mr. Tentacles if he wants unlimited so he can enjoy too. 

Kyungsoo is busy fluffing up the rice when he feels Chanyeol's body against his back, wrapping his toned arms across Kyungsoo's middle. 

"Kyungsoo, have you seen Trouble yet?"

It's been a week since that day, and neither of them has found a trace of the Bogeyman. Kyungsoo has a niggling thought at the back of his mind that it must be permanent this time, kind of like when he lost D.Ø. around the same time his mother died. But he isn't sure, really. It isn't like he's the one sharing a brain with Trouble. 

"Do you think he's bothering someone else? He was suspiciously gone like this when he was busy bothering you." 

"He was never a bother to me, Chanyeollie."

"Do you miss him?" 

Kyungsoo thinks about it as he prepares to mold their riceballs. Does he miss a presence that isn't really gone? "I don't really have to when you're around," he says, bumping his head against Chanyeol's who is resting his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder. 

Kyungsoo dutifully ignores the squeak he hears from Chanyeol before Chanyeol buries his face at the junction between Kyungsoo's shoulder and neck. 

"I have a weak heart, Kyungsoo-yah," Chanyeol whines, muffled against Kyungsoo's neck. And Kyungsoo feels a flare of affection bursting inside his chest. 

"Don't mind," Kyungsoo says, feeling uncharacteristically mushy, "I'll take care of it." 

It's weeks later when Kyungsoo is busy back in school when Chanyeol visits him again just before he turns in for the night, a cup of chamomile tea in hand to help him sleep. Chanyeol is bathed in the warm orange glow of the streetlight, and Kyungsoo is struck with the realization that this man is where his heart is at peace. 

Kyungsoo isn't sure how to tamper down the swell of emotion he feels in his chest, afraid that it will scare Chanyeol away. Hell, it scares Kyungsoo himself, how electric and too all-consuming it is, running a rampage in his heart and thoughts, begging to be known. 

"Hi, Kyungsoo. Sorry to bother you this late without warning," Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo's heart stops beating in his chest when a man steps out from behind Chanyeol. "I just want you to know that we've met." 

Chanyeol reads the dread in Kyungsoo's face and reaches for his hand. "Hey," he says, voice soothing. Kyungsoo finds comfort in it despite the million terrible thoughts racing through his head. "I don't know what you're dealing with here," Chanyeol says, tapping a light finger on Kyungsoo's temple, "but it's fine, okay? He isn't a bother to me. And he can stay with me for as long as you need to work through your thoughts." 

Kyungsoo takes a moment to consider D.Ø., remembers the good memories they used to make together, how he missed him dearly when he disappeared. But seeing his mismatched eyes now, the white of his iris stark against the dark markings around his upper and lower lids. The confident way he's holding on to Chanyeol's waist irks at Kyungsoo, when he knows he could do that himself if he's only brave enough to own up to his feelings. 

Kyungsoo doesn't want to live his life with regrets. He promised his mom just as much. So he decides, D.Ø. doesn't even have to see the light of day. He's had it all figured out now. Thank you very much. 

And if Chanyeol couldn't even manage to stand by the time Kyungsoo has professed his love in words and his body, then he doesn't have to worry about having to go home. Kyungsoo has managed to hoard enough of Chanyeol's clothes to let him last a couple of days in his house. 

And if by the end of the week, Chanyeol complains that he couldn't stop blushing and feeling the phantom heat of Kyungsoo's breath whenever someone comments about his ears in his streams, or the way his arms feel like noodles when he remembers the wet press of Kyungsoo's mouth trailing down from his shoulder to his knuckles, then Kyungsoo would've known that he's done a great job helping Chanyeol love himself as much as he loves him.


End file.
